Farie's Inn Cafe

第六章：变质的友情

雪仪洗着自己身体的每个部分。

她或许是疯了才会这么做的。

骄傲的她又怎么可能献身给一个不爱她的男人呢？

但是她到底还是做了，因为她相信他很快就会忘了那个女人。之后，他就是属于她一个人的。是的，他的风流史她从公司里的老职员那里听过了。

他身边的女人，数也数不清；但从来没有一个和他一起超过一年。他的爱情就像是受到了诅咒一样。。。沒有一段爱情得以幸免。虽然人们都说那是因为他把爱情看作是一种有限期的玩意儿。而魏均祥表面上是他志同道合的知己，其实只不过是帮他钓猎物的 ‘龟公’。更有传言，魏均祥还赔上了自己的亲妹妹！

但她选择不相信传言，又或许她已经爱得失去了理智。但说是爱他，不如说是不甘心认输。。。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

这天就好比见习经理的毕业日。

一伙人紧张兮兮地在会议室里等着贺峻的到来。每个人的眼中尽是期待。因为，今天之后能留下的人就是鼎翔 企业的正式副经理了！而每个人都会被分派到不同部门去任职，当然最能干的就从此是贺峻的左右手了!

靖淡淡地笑着。

虽然她是很在乎自己的表现，但她有时反而希望自己不是鼎翔企业的职员。或许那样她就可以和贺峻光明正大地在一起。她知道公司里的闲言闲语已从她和贺峻公干回国后传开了，但她却假装什么也没听到，继续勤奋地工作。因为她不希望将来如果有机会公开两人的关系，会让人说自己的成就是因为有贺峻的偏爱和提拔。

贺峻这时步入了会议室。

其实大家都感觉得到他的改变。他平日不苟言笑的严肃脸孔，已不再僵硬着。

他挥了挥手上的‘成绩单’，神秘兮兮地把报告都放在桌上。他有意地偷瞄了靖，嘴角裂开一丝又幸福又自豪的微笑。。。

“我对大家的表现其实都很满意，因为都达到我对你们的期望。但是，可惜我对有些人的期望本来就不高，因此自然也没法让这些人及格。靖那组的表现最好！所以她们全都可以留下来。其他的组，谢谢你们这段日子来的努力， 请回吧！”

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

“靖，你好幸运哦！以后就可以跟着贺主席学习了！”

在大家眼里贺峻是个值得学习和跟从的偶像，可以跟着他学习就早已比别人接近终点一个马鼻。但对靖来说，能和自己喜欢的人朝夕相处却又不能承认对彼此的感情反而是件又残忍又痛苦的事！她唯有每天望着无数的女人向贺峻打眼色却得装着无动于衷。

是的，她也听说过贺峻的风流史，但她却选择相信并接受了这个事实。对她而言，有哪个事业有成的俊俏男人不会花心、好色呢？更何况她始终认为贺峻对她的爱惜是奢侈的，是有一天会结束的。

“嗯！但是你们还是有机会上位的！要好好加油哦！”靖拍了拍其他人的肩，唯有雪仪闪了开去。

“为什么只有你被派去协助贺峻？”对于雪仪的质问，靖实在无言以对。

“雪仪，你在说什么嘛？分派到哪里，和靖又没关系，你成绩不好也不能拿靖出气呀！”敏儿抢上前为靖辩护。

难道雪仪已经发现靖和贺峻的关系？

“有没有关系， 我不知道。但我不明白为什么我的计划书那么好但成绩却如此平平。。。” 雪仪不甘心道。

靖无奈地望着雪仪。有谁明白她其实并不想当贺峻的助理？她宁愿远远但光明正大地偷瞄贺峻，也不想偷偷摸摸地把自己的感情藏起来。。。“我和贺主席说好了。。。我和你换部门吧？”

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

“谁适合当我的助理，你认为我还不知道吗？” 贺峻对于靖的请求又震惊又愤怒。他不屑地望了雪仪一眼，“做人最重要的是量力而为。有料的话，是一定会被发掘的。你的计划书是写的很好但太公式化了。 我聘请见习经理就是希望可以看到较不公式化的构思。。。这样才容易在表现上有所突破。你明白我想说的吗？”

雪仪这时已满脸通红。。。她拾起自己的计划书不吭一声，往门外走去。

她知道贺峻说那么多，只是要说的是自己的整体条件并没有靖好。。。 就只能自量认输了。。。但她心里却认定自己一定要超越靖。。。以证明自己的实力。。。

“Where will you like to go today?” Tsukasa let his long and slim fingers run through every strand of my hair. Somehow, I felt that I was just liked an adored pet puppy. But he might one day get sick of this pet and abandoned it after all.

Tsukasa knew I wasn’t paying attention to him. He frowned a little and tipped my chin to meet my eyes. “Is anything troubling you?” I shook my head. “Why don’t we visit the amusement park after dinner tonight?” I suggested. It wasn’t meant to annoy Tsukasa because it never occurred to me that Tsukasa disliked the amusement park.

It had always been a place every child enjoyed visiting. The place I came from was rather far away from the main town. But Dad always made it a deal to bring me to the town’s little but luxurious amusement park every year on my birthday. But things started to change when I was fifteen.

I could still remember the look of dad when I got home that day. It was my birthday and I dashed past the living room and aimed for my bedroom, trying to get ready as soon as possible to be able to set off with dad to my amusement park.

I got into my favorite pink dress and skipped into the kitchen where Dad always had a cake ready. However, there was no cake. Dad was sitting in the kitchen in a daze. He hadn’t changed into his suit yet.

When he saw me, he smiled and said, “Honey, I am sorry. We can’t have any cake this year. But, I got you a blueberry muffin.” I hugged Dad and kissed him. It was okay, I thought. I could go without a cake. I realized Dad was weeping silently. I hugged him even tighter. I knew something was wrong. But I didn’t know what was wrong. I only know, I don’t want to go to the amusement park today.

I cut the muffin into two and gave the bigger piece to Dad. He smiled and patted my head. “Honey, once I get dress, we go to the amusement park.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you. We can play with the doll house.” I could see that Dad was closed to tearing again.

“Honey, I want to keep my promise, as much as I can.” Dad held on to my hands. I felt his heart go weak. I knew this is the last time I could go with Dad. I looked away, not wanting to let Dad see the tears in my eyes.

We spent our happiest time in the amusement park that day. That night became the saddest moment of my life too. Dad shot himself in the head after he tucked me into bed. He never did close his eyes. I could never forget the way he looked. He could not bear to leave me but he had to. There was simply no way out.

A few days later, our lawyer came and I was made to sign some papers which I hardly understand. But I knew, it wouldl mean, that the house had to go to the mayor. It was only later when I realized, Dad was made to sign some papers some months back too. I did not quite understand what papers could he had signed but my aunty who took me in, told me Dad went heavily in debt after he decided that he wanted to send me to the best college in the region.

And so, I was blamed for Dad’s death. My Dad’s only sister, who were no richer than we were, took me in and was then responsible for my future education. At first, she was fairly nice to me, thinking that I would share the savings Dad put aside for my education. When she realized I was leaving for the college in a couple of weeks, she drove me into the barn where I spent the rest of my nights before the arranged carriage came.

I was certain that once I graduated from a well-known college and gotten enough education to realize what were the papers Dad had signed, maybe I could get the house back. I even wrote to the mayor before I left, daring him that I would be back for the house.

But things didn’t happen as I wanted it to. I did graduate from the college. And I even got together with Amon, the only son of the wealthiest merchant in town. Nobody could recognize me when I returned to my hometown. However, little did I know, Amon had only been treating me as just another toy of his. What could be even worse, an obliging toy who should let him had his ways and obeyed his commands and orders, allowing him to turn me into someone he thought was conventionally accepted in the society. Yes, I was not a very pretty girl, or should I say, I was just plain. And I was much unlike the other ladies of my age, ever ready to turn on their men, with tight outfits that exposed their curves. Much worse, I was even smarter in school than Amon. I topped the level every year and was granted the scholarship to finish the last 2 years of my studies.

I didn’t realize Amon wasn’t please at all with what I really was, and that he failed to transform me. It was very soon when he got tired of seeing me outsmart him in many occasions during formal events. He started not bringing me along when he attended parties, accusing me for purposefully embarrassing him by emphasizing his ignorance in many fields of conversations. I knew it never cross my mind to embarrass him; instead, I always wanted him to be proud of who I was, not just another unsophisticated bimbo.

“Makino…” I was awaked by Tsukasa gentle whispering. I was now on a Ferris Wheel, which was my Dad’s favorite ride in the amusement park. It made me feel as if I was God, looking down on the world and choosing what ought to be done. I almost thought I heard Dad speaking to me. “What do you want to choose to do then?” I always asked the same question. And Dad always gave me the same answer, “To see that you are always happy.” I let myself fell into Tsukasa’s arms and sobbed silently in his embrace. Dad, I will get our home back, I will.

“Goodnight, Makino.” Tsukasa placed his lips onto the crown of my head. I looked at him in the eyes. I don’t want to be left alone tonight. I knew the missing of Dad would haunt me through the night and I would really need someone to be with me. “Makino? You want to tell me something?” Tsukasa leaned his shoulders close to mine and I could hear his irregular breathing.

“Can you stay for the night?” I tucked at his sleeves. He trembled. He knew I wasn’t ready for any serious relationship yet. He knew I was hiding something from everyone else. He knew one day he could make me tell him what thoughts were running in my mind when I was in a daze. But he also knew that, he couldn’t always guessed my thoughts accurately. He looked at me for an answer. I smiled and held on to his neck letting my lips meet his. “I need someone to cuddle in bed tonight” I grinned cheekily so that he would not misunderstand my motive.

I could see the twitch at the corner of his lips. Did I see wrongly or is he really holding back a grin? I knew Tsukasa would not reject my offer.

Soon, Tsukasa tucked himself in bed next to me. It had been some years since I last been able to hear the heartbeats of a man this near. I recalled that night I was kicked out of Amon’s house simply because I refused to be touched by him.

That was a rare rainy night. It shouldn’t have rained in that quarter of the year. Hence, I was made to believe that God was crying for me…

It had been a few weeks since I last saw Amon. He had made me believed that he postponed our wedding was his father’s idea. And that his father did not quite like the way I was pushing myself around the house. I did not quite remember myself ever doing what his father accused of me. I could only remember myself being cast off by even the servants as a parasite who eyed the family’s inheritance badly. I was not interested in their money. I was able to earn my way through to get my house back. I knew it was time for me to leave. I packed my luggage and waited for Amon to be home so I could break the news to him. I intended to leave the very next morning.

He was very drunk that night. He got home drenched to the skin with a stink in his breath which smelled like thrown up. I stopped along the corridor and he dragged me into my room. He pushed me onto the bed and thrown himself on top of me. I struggled. It was not because I did not love him, but that other than smelling of alcohol, he also smelt of some branded flora perfume. Many a time, I eavesdropped at what was going on in Amon’s room through the night for the past few weeks. I knew he was fooling around openly but I excused him for my incompetence in pleasuring my own fiancé. But there was no way for him to treat me like some whores who could be thrown onto anytime he pleased.

I kicked at him and pushed him off bed. He snared like an animal, unsatisfied. I knew that was it. Before I could gain my integrity by picking up my luggage and leave on my own, he dragged me by my hair and pushed me out into the rain. He then emptied my luggage piece by piece down from the window. I did not cry. I tugged my luggage under my arms and ran to my aunty’s house.

As expected, I wasn’t welcomed. Much worse, they were talking behind my back about how impotent I was in satisfying my man. Still I did not cry. That night, I wrote a letter to Soujirou who was then my best and only friend, telling him I would be on my way in search of my own happiness. Before dawn I was on my way to a nearby town, where I was adopted by the school mistress and trained under her.

“Makino…are you crying?” Tsukasa held my waist in his huge palms. He did not know what was in my mind. But he knew, it was something which had made me who I was now, an unhappy person, always doubtful of what others could bring me. He held me closer and put his face on mine, feeling my warm tears. He could only do all these; he had never felt so helpless before.

I was too absorbed in my memories to realize how miserable I had made Tsukasa by not responding to his concerns. But I could feel the smell of him lingering around every bit of my body. I could hear my heartbeat pounds faster than it ever had been, faster than even during my happiest times with Amon when we were still in college.

The school mistress treated me like her dear daughter and educated me to be able to teach foreign language (English). But that wasn’t the end of the story. Amon’s influence was greater than I expected it to be. I had only managed to teach for two years before the rumors reached the ears of the school mistress and the parents. I was labeled as the incapable and abandoned fiancée of Kunisawa Amon. I did not want to make it difficult for the school mistress as she was a kind old lady who had done me enough good.

I started to arrange for a teaching position in this town which was much further away from the first two towns. In barely two days, I got myself a one way ticket and response from the school. I wrote another letter to Soujirou telling him that I would be on my way again. On the third day, I was on my way to my next destination.

“Tsukasa..do you like me?” I murmured. I knew the answer, but I would still very much like to hear it for myself. “Yes. Much more than I expect myself to.” Tsukasa held me tighter.

“Tsukasa..” I heard him breathed deeply. “Tell me when you are ready.” Tsukasa muttered. He had never wanted her to rush into making her decisions. He had all the time for her to think it through. “But..why me? Of all people, why me?” I looked up at him. He was just an inch away from me. I could feel his chest on my palm, the faint smell of his scents. Tsukasa kissed my tearful eyes gently and brushed the flinch away from my forehead.

“I don’t know why too. But I know it has to be you.” I burst into tears and hid my face under his arms. His warmth soothed my helplessness and brought me a sense of neediness. He tugged me tighter into his embrace. Very soon, I fell into a deep sleep with a smile on my face.

I waited till Rui walked back to his room, before tiptoeing across.

But little did I know he caught the glimpse of my shadow just as he was about to close the door.

“Makino?” He whispered like tinkling bells. I always liked the way he called my name. Somehow, he liked to drag the ‘no’ in a lazy way, with a smirk smile which makes it sounds as if he will like to swallow me down his throat.

I tried to pretend I didn’t hear him and slide into the garden in a swift. It was then I realized it was somewhat like a maze and I did not know the way out. I could only try as much as possible to keep to the sides, which was an advice Amon used to give me when we went for maze hunting during our school days.

“Makino.” I stopped in front of a man. I knew there was no way out. If I told Rui the truth, he would definitely help me get away. But then, Rui was very much of a stranger to me too. He was so inapprehensive. He could slouch in the staff room like someone who wouldn’t be bothered even if a meteor were to hit Earth in the next second.. Or he would appear where everyone least expected him to, especially when one was most in need. Many a time, I did want to ask him, what the hell is he?

“Want some coffee or tea?” He offered and then he grinned in a boyish way, “or you can have me too!”  Well, that made him sounds more welcoming.

I recalled seeing Rui once relieving a music class when I past by the hall one day. He was then guiding students with the piano and violin. What ran through by mind was that he was faking it out, trying not to make a fool out of himself. But then, it seemed I really don’t know him at all.

On the wall of Rui’s room, there were different types of musical instruments. I tried to count them one by one, wearing an amused expression. Violin, guitar, saxophone, electric guitar… ehh what’s that? I tried to recall those I thrice saw in an instrument shop.

“That’s an Italian guitar. The one they used to play folk songs where everyone danced and sang merrily during festive seasons.” Rui always managed to guess what’s in my thought.

There was a min-drum set and an electric keyboard near his bed too, which made his room had hardly any walking space.

“How do you manage to move around in the room?” I asked curiously.

“Well, I don’t really move around in my room. It’s for sleeping, isn’t it?” He smiled in a callous way.

“Ohh..” It was the only thing I could say. I knew it was his turn to ask.

“ Why aren’t you in bed at this hour? And why did you run away when I called your name?” Rui did not like to beat around the bush.

“ I thought  you were the discipline master, so.. I was afraid to be caught trespassing. I remembered you told me about garden so I came out for a walk..” No, I was trying to run away again, because I don’t want Amon to find me in this town. I don’t want to see Amon. There were two voices speaking at the same time, one verbally and one spiritually.

The frown in my eyes gave me away. But Rui decided not to expose me. “Why don’t you stay here for the night? I could play you some lullaby.”

Before I could reject, Rui tucked me into his blanket and handed me a teddy bear. He grinned, “Meet my loner bear. It was given to me by some student few years back. I never touched it before so it’s clean (if hygiene worried you). Let it keep you company for tonight.”

“Have you been teaching for long?” The way he said ‘few years back’ made him sound older than I thought he is.

“Not really, just a couple of years. What about you?” Rui laid a sleeping mat onto the narrow space beside the bed and started to play a sad tune.

“Me too… About two years to be exact… Hmm… How come your lullaby sound so sad? Are you always so cynical about life?” His bed was so comfortable that I could barely keep my eyes opened. I realized he paused and pondered for a while, before he started playing another tune, more soothing and gentle this time round.

“Morning!” I tried to stretch from my sleep.

Then I jumped up. “What time is it now?” Rui sticked his tongue out at me. “ Today’s Saturday Miss Tsukushi.”  I fell back into his soft bed. “Oh…” and then I seemed to be in dreamland again.

When I woke up again, it was already noon time and Rui was nowhere to be seen. I sat up and tidied my shirt. Could Tsukasa be still watching over my dormitory? What if he would to knock on the door? There were so many possibilities that could have already happened. I was far too lazy to worry about that first. What I was more concern is, what I am going to eat for lunch.

Yesh, my stomach is growling for food.

“Knock  Knock... come and join me in the kitchen, piggy!” Rui peeked into the room.

I was almost giggling. I couldn’t believe what I heard. Rui? Was that him? I just couldn’t imagine that cool cynical Rui to be someone who can be this playful.

Rui was making eggs and sausages in the kitchen. He smiled a lot today. I had never seen anyone so charming as him before. His smiles shone like the sun in the sky, warming my heart to the maximum. It was a different feeling compared to when I was with Tsukasa.

When I was with Tsukasa, I could hardly breathe. He always got things ready for me. All I need to do is to follow his instructions. But his commands were always so certain and cold, almost unfeeling, though his caresses were always so gentle as if he would break my limps if he used a bit more strength.

But with Rui, it was different. Rui may seem cold and cynical on the outside, but somehow there seemed to be a quiet fire burning deep inside him. I had seen him not once but several times with his students. He always seem so delighted and indulged in whatever they shared with him, and always nodded reassuringly every now and then, making them feel good about what they were saying. Yes, I felt very comforted talking to Rui as he always watched everyone purposefully with his observant glances. 

“Will you like your eggs half cooked or fully cooked?” Rui grinned. “Half cooked please.” I stood next to him watching him. He skillfully lifted up an egg in the pan with its golden yolk still in liquid form and landed it onto the plate I was holding.

“My mother used to say, if I want to get full marks for my exams…” Rui winked, and we chorused, “You have to eat two half cooked eggs with a sausage!” Then we broke out into a laugh. It was really fun and I haven’t had so much fun for quite a while. I tried to imagine Tsukasa in apron and frying pan. It was too much. I held onto my stomach and had the best laugh I ever had for the last few months.

“Your eggs are marvelous! I would like to eat more of them some other day!” I patted Rui on his shoulders.

He stood up and gave a bow to me. I laughed. How could I never imagine that Rui could be so fun-loving?

When I looked at him, I realized he stitched his eyebrows together. I knew something was wrong and looked in the direction which his eyes caught a shadow.

“Tsukasa!” I cried uncontrollably.

Tsukasa did not take another look. He turned and headed towards the back gate. It was too much for him. He had waited a night worrying about his beloved Makino’s safety and there she was, flirting with another man! The feeling of betrayal bled like a deep cut in his heart.

However, he only managed a few steps before he stopped. No, he would not walk off this way. If he does, it will only mean, Makino will no longer be his. With this in his thoughts, he headed back to the kitchen, where Rui and I were still thinking of what ought to be the next step to be done.

I was taken aback when I see Tsukasa at the door again. I stood up uncontrollably. No, it’s no way I will get Rui into trouble. I just couldn’t just let it happened. I walked over to Tsukasa and held his hands. “I was feeling bored when I woke up. And, it didn’t want to disturb you, so, I came over to say hi…” I did not let my eyes meet Tsukasa’s when I spoke.

Tsukasa knew very well that I was lying, because he was up whole night, except that fifteen minutes which most likely, gave me the chance to sneak out from my room to Rui’s. But he appreciated that I actually bothered to lie to him, which means I do care about how he feels.

He took my hands and as gentle as he could, tugged at them and pulled me to his back. I peeked at Rui from his back. I could see that Rui wasn’t going to let Tsukasa get his way that easily. I blinked my eyes desperately urging him not to be impulsive. After all, I was claimed to be Tsukasa’s.

Tsukasa gave Rui the triumph-look and took off with my hands held tightly and tugged ‘safely’ in his pocket. Yesh, she wants to be mine, thought Tsukasa.

After that incident, I never dare let myself be alone with Rui again. I couldn’t let Tsukasa find any excuses to hurt Rui.

I decided that I will follow Tsukasa’s way from now on, since he is the only man who can keep Amon away from me.

Little did I know, just as I was thinking of this as I walked down the corridor back to the staff room, Rui had caught sight of me just as he stepped out from his class.

I have to go. I thought to myself. There was no way I will give Rui this chance to talk to me and had Tsukasa’s spies caught us ‘red-handed’.

I braked not far from him and started off in the opposite direction. No, I will not go back to the staff room. I will head for my dormitory straight.

I heard Rui running after me and I quickened my pace, so that it wasn’t obvious that I was running away from him. But Rui would not let this chance go away. He had to speak to her.

“Makino!” I felt my legs go soft as I heard his call.

He stopped in front of me. “Why did you run away whenever you see me?” Rui panted. I shook my head and forced the lie out of my throat, “I did not run away from you. It so happened that I remembered I left something in the classroom.”

“Let me walk you there.” He is indeed a sharp man. Tsukasa would have accepted my answer right away.

“It’s alright, I can do it myself. Beside, I am in a rush.” I started to walk away from Rui.

“You have a date with Tsukasa?” Rui, in his usual callous slang.

“Yes… if you will excuse me?” I darted off past him before he could response.

 Why doesn’t she have as much faith in me? This was all that worried Rui. It seemed that Tsukasa’s threats meant nothing to him. He was only concerned about why Makino had to give in to Tsukasa. The only possible answer laid in Makino’s attempt to run away the other night. There must be something which Makino thought only Tsukasa could provide for her, which would keep her from running away from everyone again...

骗自己

其实你早明白， 奢侈地爱他

是一场空白的约定

你也早已明了， 你们的相遇

是月老错误的安排

在他怀里，你失去了自我，

也无法感觉对你的感动

在他心里，你早不到记忆

也许你早不是他的唯一

可是你总宁愿相信女人都是可怜人，

只能永远在爱情里徘徊着，

不断期待会有一个不顾一切的王子，

愿意和自己轰轰烈烈地爱。

所以你选择可怜女人的不变命运路，

只能继续骗你自己去相信，

失去只为可以真遇见世界某个角落，

一样在等着他的公主 的人。

第五章：认输

“你们这是干嘛？这个计划可是上头传下来这个星期一定要搞定的。 今天已经是星期三了，可是却一点进展也没有。我看你们是故意的吧！” 靖一踏进办公司就听见敏儿的嚷声。

“你的意思是我们不合作了？怎么你却从没想过我们根本就人手不足？你们这些人一心想要受到老板的赏识而接二连三地把一件又一件的工作接过来。可是你们却不知道，我们下面那些人做到快受不了了。你们单身又薪水高，又住宿舍，当然是无所谓啦！可是我们薪水低，又是有家庭的人，如果加班又没加班费，又有谁愿意为公司拼命呢？你们身为我们的上司，就应该为我们争取更多的福利，那么我们才会服你！”

“你们这是什么态度嘛? 你们要有福利，也该有点表现吧！没有表现，公司又怎么会加福利呢？” 敏儿自小在富裕的家庭里长大，不愁吃穿，自然没有办法设身处地为其他的人着想。

靖看在眼里， 心想是否该擦手。。这时另一见习团的组员，芬也插上了一角，企图煽风点火：“就是嘛，这种料也想管别人， 你凭什么嘛！你可别以为自己的经理职位是做定了，还没到终点，可别先嚣张。。。我知道了。你以为贺主席不在公司，你们就可以为所欲为吗？别忘了，我们也是见习经理。你们以为我们好欺负，所以不把我们放在眼里是吗？”

 靖知道两人定会吵个没完没了， 只好走上前：“够了， 上班时候有什么好吵架的。Amy 姐和燕姨麻烦你们把手头上的工作都列出来放在我桌上， 如果真的需要长期加班的话，我会和贺主席讨论，并给你们应得的加班费。我知道最近因为公司接了很多新的project而多了很多工作，所以非常感谢大家这段日子的努力。公司是不会忘记大家的；今年的营业率肯定比去年好，年尾的分红一定也不会少了大家的份。”靖一说完，立刻感觉到周围原本僵硬的气氛，变得和谐多了。

靖出生清寒，自然了解到生活的需要与现实，也特别尊重资历高但学历低的职员。因此大家对靖确实比较信服， 并依照她的指示回到工作的岗位。来看戏的芬见况，深感无趣，但不想因此作罢。她正要开腔时，却被靖狠狠地瞪了一眼：“想必你们的部门一定闲得很，想不想调过来帮帮忙呀？”芬一听，一溜烟地跑回自己的部门。靖心想如果那种人可以毕业的话，那公司也太没眼了。

“敏儿，我们去喝杯茶如何？”靖知道敏儿现在一定觉得很丢脸，因此想为她解围。可是敏儿终究是个傲慢的富家女；她任性惯了，又怎么会立刻接受自己的失策呢？“对不起，倪团长，我不是闲着没事做的。”说罢，敏儿掉头回到桌位。那天，直到吃饭时，敏儿都不肯和靖说话。。。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

“靖，你是最了解敏儿的。。。别太在意她的胡言乱语。”晓茜还是一样的善解人意。她看得出我十分在意敏儿说的那番话，因此饭后就趁纤纤和敏儿到夜市闲荡，特地来我的房里。

“嗯，放心好了，我知道敏儿是没有恶意的。”靖顿了顿，内疚地道：“对不起。。。不是我不想告诉你们，只是我不知从何说起。。。你们听了也一定会很震惊的。。。对不起。。。”靖低下头懊恼着。她实在无法想象当她们知道她和贺峻之间的暧昧关系后的反应，她们更可能对她因此有所误解。毕竟见习经理课程里的良性竞争可是真枪实弹的。虽然大家终究因为个别原因而没有完成课程，但靖也十分明白大家都曾经那么的努力过。

“靖，其实。。我们一直以来都知道你和贺主席的关系非浅。。。”靖倒是被晓茜的这番话吓着了。她之前一直用尽方法不让她们知道，又一直头痛着不知如何告诉她们，可是原来她们其实早已看穿了她，并一直守护着她的秘密。

靖不知该说些什么，她只是点点头默认。接着，两人没再说话了，只是静静地望着满天的星星。。。

“靖，你看我们买了什么？”纤纤和敏儿兴高采烈地捧着一篮串珠耳环跑了房间。

“你看，这是紫色的，给靖。白色的给纤纤。黄色的给我。红色的给晓茜。。。蓝色的给雪仪。。。。”敏儿挥着手上的串珠耳环笑着道。

靖望着两人，心中不禁一阵心酸。纤纤当下明白是怎么一回事， 她推了推敏儿示意真相已大白。

“她说了。。。对吧？”纤纤细问。

晓茜点了点头。敏儿凑上前拥住了靖：“没事了，我们在这里。。。”

靖拥着敏儿，顿感温暖。她终于还是卸下了她倔强的盔甲，落下了泪水。晓茜和纤纤见况也拥上前，用她们的友情治疗着靖的伤口。靖还是认输了。。。她是真的爱上了贺峻。。。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

“怎么了？不喜欢吗？”贺峻放开了握着靖的右手。他感觉到靖的不解， 他不希望靖觉得自己占着是上司的身份而摆布她。他希望靖了解自己的心思，了解自己对她不顾一切的爱。

“嗯。。没有呀。。贺主席 。。我。。。” 是的，靖是感觉得到的。她很清楚地感觉得到贺峻对她的特别爱护，并不只是因为特别赏识她而为了想栽培她，而给了她别人盼不到的机会。可是她却依旧选择那是她自己的错觉。因为，她知道她内心里是一样怜惜着贺峻，更一样深怕他受到伤害。也因为她的力量是有限的， 所以，她只好用自己有限的方式保护着两人之间见不得人的爱情。可是这一切都是在贺峻不知情下自私地进行的。因为她知道，贺峻是绝对愿意为了她放弃一切，远走高飞的。所以，她绝对不能让贺峻知道自己的想法。 但是，她却也无法不流露出对贺峻的怜爱。看着贺峻不解的双膜，她的心碎了。她不明白为什么她不可以像别人一样轰轰烈烈地爱着自己心爱的人呢？

“不是说过，在公司以外不可以叫我贺主席吗？你知道我每当听你这么叫我时，我的心又多痛吗？来，把手给我，天气很冷，别冻坏了。。。这里不在熟人的视线范围里，不用担心。。。”说着，贺峻一把抓住了靖的手，放入他的大衣里，紧握着， 深怕一切美好的独处时光会立刻失去。。。